Grace in the Giving
A wife’s journey of steadfast love, gentle strength, and daily surrender — embracing the beauty of giving and supporting her husband.
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”
There are seasons in marriage where life feels full in the most beautiful way… and also overwhelming in the most ordinary way.
Laundry piles up. Messages need answers. Work calls. Family needs you. Church commitments. Meals to cook. A home to steward. Dreams to build. And before you know it, you’re already thinking about the next thing that needs to be done.
I’ve been learning how easy it is to live in constant motion but still feel like you’ve lost your peace.
Lately, God has been teaching me something simple but deeply refining:
balance isn’t found in doing everything — it’s found in surrendering everything.
Marriage Was Never Meant to Be 50/50
One of the biggest lessons I’ve been learning as a wife is that marriage isn’t about splitting life evenly.
It’s not “I’ll give half if you give half.”
It’s choosing to give fully — even when it’s inconvenient, unseen, or sacrificial.
Real love looks like two people trying to give 100%.
Some seasons one spouse carries more. Some seasons the other does. But love keeps showing up. Love keeps serving. Love keeps choosing.
That kind of love reflects Christ — patient, kind, not self-seeking. The kind of love poured out for us first.
And honestly… that kind of love requires sacrifice.
When Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan
Over a year ago, I stepped away from my job believing John and I were entering a new season of growing our family. For a moment, everything seemed to be unfolding just as we had hoped… and then that season ended far more quickly than we expected.
That was a tender and difficult time for us.
It forced us to trust God in a deeper way.
I didn’t feel called to return to traditional work, so I began building work from home — helping with family businesses, supporting my dad’s coffee shop through media/graphic work, and using creative gifts in new ways. Now, alongside that, John and I are helping build a new watch company with my sister and brother-in-law — a blessing that has stretched us in the best ways.
It wasn’t the plan I had written in my mind.
But it became a season of refining, trust, and deeper partnership in our marriage.
And through it all, God kept reminding me:
this season is not wasted.
Supporting Our Husbands with Trust and Strength
Another area God has been growing me in is understanding what it truly means to support my husband as his wife.
Biblical submission is often misunderstood. It is not silence, weakness, or losing your voice. It is strength under control. It is trust in God’s design. It is choosing unity over self-protection.
Scripture says:
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” — Ephesians 5:22
“Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” — Ephesians 5:24
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” — Ephesians 5:25
This kind of marriage is never one-sided.
A husband lays down his life in love.
A wife responds with trust and support.
I have been learning that when I support John with encouragement, respect, and partnership, it strengthens him to step fully into his role as leader, provider, and protector.
“Submission, at its heart, is not about hierarchy of value — it is about harmony of purpose.”
C. S. Lewis expressed this beautifully when writing about marriage reflecting Christ and the Church — a relationship marked by sacrificial love and willing trust, where love delights in order, not control.
Supporting my husband does not diminish me.
It strengthens our marriage.
It strengthens our mission.
It strengthens our peace.
Honoring the Sacrifice of Our Husbands
God has really been opening my eyes to the weight our husbands carry — often quietly.
To lead a family requires courage.
To provide requires endurance.
To protect requires constant responsibility.
Provision is more than income. It is pressure, decision-making, long hours, risk, and the willingness to carry burdens others never see.
As I’ve watched John pour himself into work, into our future, and into building something meaningful for our family, I’ve realized how easy it can be to focus on what we feel we are sacrificing… while overlooking what our husbands are giving every single day.
Their time.
Their energy.
Their strength.
Their comfort.
Their rest.
Many husbands carry the weight of responsibility not because they are forced to, but because they love deeply.
A godly husband’s leadership is not domination — it is self-sacrifice in motion. And when we see leadership through that lens, respect and gratitude naturally grow.
When a husband works late, takes risks, or shoulders pressure for the sake of his family, he is reflecting something of Christ’s protective love.
Recognizing that has softened my heart in beautiful ways.
It has helped me support more willingly.
Serve more joyfully.
Encourage more intentionally.
Gratitude changes the atmosphere of a home.
Building Dreams Requires Shared Sacrifice
Starting something new always requires more time, more effort, and more surrender than expected. In this season of helping build a new business together, I’ve been learning what it means to support John not just emotionally, but practically — stepping in, helping where I can, and sometimes giving up time I would have preferred to spend differently.
But I’ve realized something important:
Sacrifice in marriage is not loss — it is investment.
Investment in your spouse.
Investment in your family’s future.
Investment in legacy.
At the same time, I’m learning the importance of protecting our peace, setting boundaries, and caring for my own heart so I can love from a full place — not an empty one.
Balance Isn’t Perfect — It’s Intentional
As wives, we often try to carry everything well. But true balance isn’t about doing more — it’s about being rooted in what matters most.
For me, that means:
• Being present in my home
• Supporting John wholeheartedly
• Caring for my health and heart
• Serving others from a place of peace
• Trusting God with the timeline of our lives
I’m learning that every season carries purpose — even the unexpected ones. Especially the unexpected ones.
And joy… joy is something we choose. Not because life is easy, but because God is faithful.
A Gentle Encouragement for This Season
If you are in a season that feels full, stretching, or uncertain… you are not alone.
Marriage is not built on ease — it is built on daily surrender, daily grace, and daily choice.
Choose to support your husband.
Choose to respect the weight he carries.
Choose to create space for him to lead with confidence and peace.
And at the same time, choose honesty.
One of the greatest gifts we can give our marriage is open communication. Real communication. Not silent frustration. Not buried feelings. Not assumptions.
Speak with love.
Share what is hard.
Express what you need.
Listen with humility.
This has been a commitment for John and me — to be honest about our hearts, especially in difficult seasons. And that openness has protected our unity. It has prevented misunderstandings. It has allowed us to face challenges side by side instead of alone.
Support and communication are not opposing forces — they work together.
When a husband is respected and trusted, he leads with strength.
When a wife is heard and valued, she supports with joy.
Marriage flourishes where both are giving fully.
So here is the gentle challenge I want to leave with you:
Support your husband intentionally.
Encourage him openly.
Allow him to lead faithfully.
Communicate honestly.
Trust God with the rest.
You do not need perfect balance to build a peaceful home.
You need surrender, unity, and love that is chosen daily.
And when love is rooted in Christ, even the stretching seasons become sacred ones.